The impossible decision
A football rolled up to Pankaj’s feet. “Pass it please”, someone shouted. He stopped abruptly. His hands moved from the wheels of his chair to the ball that stood in front of his lifeless legs. He bent over and picked it up with a grunt. After looking at it for a second he threw it away to the kids playing nearby. As he strolled away, the images flashed in his mind. The painful memory is still afresh. He was 14 years old when he injured his spinal cord while playing a football match that rendered him partially paralysed from the waist down. It has been 17 years since he has been able to walk. Not a single day has passed when he didn’t feel helpless. His family and friends have stuck by him all these years, but they don’t know how Pankaj feels everyday struggling, wishing to just stand and walk, something we all take for granted.
When he came to know about spinal implants which could treat his paralysis, he was elated. He wanted them more than anything in the whole world, if only he could afford them. These implants were considered as divine miracle in medical science as how quickly a patient was able to walk again in less than a day. As a result, they were high in demand but only 8 such devices were built every year as the inherent technology was quite complicated and advanced.
After wandering for several months to the biggest public hospital in the country for the implant, when he had almost given up on it, the phone rang. He was swiftly summoned there. “Is it here?”, was the first statement of Pankaj after entering doctor’s cabin.
Doctor replied in affirmative. Pankaj was ecstatic. He couldn’t control his emotions. “I am so-”, before Pankaj could finish, the doctor said, “Your test results are in and”, with a pregnant pause he continued, “I am afraid you have meningitis, and we have to immediately start the treatment lest you die in next 24 hours.”
Pankaj was stumped. It was like the rug was swept out of his feet. He could feel his heart pounding like a drum. “I want to live doctor, whatever it takes”, Pankaj said. “We will immediately put you on intravenous antibiotics and corticosteroids, I will need you to sign this”, he passed a document as he addressed him. Upon asking about it, the doctor told him that while the medicines will treat his disease, but they must amputate his legs as the disease has progressed rapidly.
It was a cruel joke that God has played on him. Even with the implants they were rendered pointless now. He felt as if time has stopped, and life has ceased to exist in that moment. The only sound was of the clock ticking away, every second was precious, and he needed to decide whether he wanted to walk for one last time and fade away from this world, or to go through with the amputation.
He decided the latter.
