Carving your own destiny
My eyes are burning. I rubbed them to lower the pain as I regretted the decision to binge watch all night. The characters are still circling in my mind, especially one character which was the least expected to be the murderer turns out to be one, a cute, timid, 22 year old boy in glasses.
I reached out for the glass of water near my bedside table as I felt difficulty in swallowing. Why did I have a bucket of ice cream? I must have caught a cold again. Water helped a bit.
I called for my mother, no response.
I called again, no response.
Frustrated, I climbed out of bed and went for the door. I almost tripped on my shoes, kicked them afar and limped.
Why is everything so dark? I struggled to find a light switch. Somebody touched my arm. I shrieked for a moment. It felt familiar as I could feel her bangles.
“Ma.. Ma..I have been calling you for so long. I think I have caught a cold again. I am not feeling right. Everything is dark and …”
No response.
Why is she not talking?
I could feel her hands inspecting my face, I was pulled to and made to sit on a chair.
This must be my worst dream, I thought.
There were a few people in the living room as I could sense their touch and smell their breath each time someone came close to check. I was oddly calm. Distraught for sure but slowly accepting my reality. I was given a stick to walk. I slowly walked back to room and caressed my vision board. All my dreams of travel, photography, and writing seemed to fade away. Why did this happen to me? Was this a past life karma punishing me?
I cried for days, stayed in my room for many months sitting by the window hoping for any of my senses to return back. But one can hope only so much that when it is crushed it descends you to bottomless pit of despair and leads to dark thoughts. I decided to put a end to this misery and jumped from my balcony.
Few years later…
“Welcome everyone.. I am pleased to announce my guest for tonight whose new book, Sixth Sense has been one of the bestsellers of this year. Tell me how did you turn your life around when infact you decided to end it?”, asked the perky anchor.
The question was captured by a computer, hooked to a braille embosser.
I began answering her. My hand movements were translated by a sign language interpretor.
“I didn’t want to live with my disability so I tried to end my life. But when I failed I realised you cannot control what happens to you, you can only control what you do after it has happened. I was in coma for a week, broke my limbs, it took a year to fully recover from the injuries. I not only healed physically but mentally too. It doesn’t mean my life would be easy in any way. I face challenges every day, yet I do want to live and hope to fulfill all my dreams.”
