A trip down memory lane
Recently I traveled to Bikaner to attend my cousin Naniji’s funeral procession. The place was filled with all my relatives from my maternal side. My mother, her sisters, brothers, their wives, children, grandchildren, and countless other relatives. All came to mourn the death of the eldest member in the family. She passed away peacefully in her sleep. She was a nonagenarian. She lived a quiet, peaceful life except for latter stages where being diagnosed with a 4th stage stomach cancer caused pain to even swallow a morsel of food. My mother’s sister in law (Mamiji) took care of her without breaking a sweat. Cancer specialists advised them not to push her further through anymore tests or painful treatments since at her age and condition it was unlikely she would survive them.
My mother came 2 months before to meet her, she even video called me to meet Bai (Naniji). I saw her freckled face for the last time. She remembered me, I asked her of her health even though it was fairly visible how miserable she was yet composed and patient to listen and talk to her grandchildren.
As a kid growing up, all I remember of her was peeling pistachios, making cotton diya battis. She was a simple but voiced her opinion wherever needed. She had even scolded my real Nanaji on some occasion which I remember faintly. She was never one of those bossy mother-in-law to her daughter-in-laws, but wasn’t timid or meek either. My mother fondly reminisces of Bai being a disciplinarian where she would without fail wake up every day at 3AM, take a cold bath, pray to god, and then continue with her day. She used to visit the nearby temple everyday, to attend the katha (religious preachings), came back by the time of dinner, after a simple meal of roti and curry, she would go to sleep by 8.
Bai never had children of her own. Her husband passed away soon after their marriage. She never remarried instead busied herself with devotion to God. She would spend her days staying at Rishikesh at an ashram devoted to Bhakti bhav. She gave up on worldly attachments and practices. She had a big family on her maternal side, who often visited her when she was in Bikaner. Her cognitive abilities were impressive as she remembered every relative that came to see her every now and then.
She was also quite determined and bold. When my cousins and I went to disperse the remaining ashes of Bai to Kolayat (a small village near Bikaner),a famous Hindu pilgrim site. I could see tears in their eyes as they reminisced of how Bai came there last year herself and crossed a foot deep water body to visit the temple. She never once complained, in fact quite adamant and enthusiastic to see it.
She was a brave woman. Lived a life as she chose. Didn’t succumb to societal pressures or practices. I’ll miss you Naniji.
